I Dislike Boys & Home Chores By Default: This Is Why

Don't judge me! In fact, don't try to crucify me when I say, I dislike men. I have never been raped. I have never been molested or abused physically but it irritates me so much when I see my poor mother work tirelessly all day selling commodities and just to get back home to resume wifely or motherly duties. 

I often ask myself, why is the world so circled around men? Why do they get all the pampering? They get triple the size and quantity of food, women spent hours cooking. 

About me and my family

My family is a small one. A family of six but lost one, a few years ago. We have a daily household routine and it seems to work out well except that I loathe every bit of it.

My mother works at a local shop and runs a small private business selling commodities such as toiletries and underwear garments. After a busy day at work, she rushes to the market, many times by herself or sends me on that errand, all to to cook a lovely two-course meal for the family at night. 

My days are not as tight as mum, except that when I arrive home from school, I have to do a lot of tidying, sweeping, washing and cleaning of dishes. Who else would do it anyway? I am the firstborn and first girl of the family. After every meal, my mother and I clear away and wash up all dishes.

Unlike us, my father arrives home from work, much earlier than us. Sit by the fireplace with his feet in the air and with sets of newspaper and magazine. He purrs every page like a pretty cat looking for a treasured locket. He is a nice, handsome looking man who appreciatively eat mum's meal but he retires to bed by 9pm every night with no deal of assistance. 

This is how we live daily, day in day out but anger is beginning to breed inside me somewhere. If not for the African culture and training, I would have love to scold my father and question him. May be I will, one of these days, asking to help us clear the table, wash up and let my mum do the resting. I know he would be more than shocked or probably find the right size of slap to bring me back to my narrow space but I would leave that for later. 

What is particularly annoying is that my younger brother is taking soothe. He comes back from school. leaves his dirty socks on the chair, unpack his bags and goes about running like a wild dog while my little cute young sister goes about doing her bit of home chores. 

I love my father and my cute family but I don't seem to understand this unfairness in the home. My mom sees nothing wrong with this. She even scolds me when I complain but I can't keep this anger silent anymore. I can't seem to understand this and I need someone to tell me, if this is right and why it is right. If not, what can I do to make it right. 

"Katie"-Not Original Name

What's wrong with being different?

It was a left sharp pain that made me step into the dead-end room this afternoon. I'd not been in an examination room for as long as I could remember and having had a professional health nurse as a mother, hospitals and clinic-related facilities seemed like the death sentence.

I laid in the blue coloured room, earnestly waiting to be attended to. The room was so cozy, anyone could doze off but I was pondering on what was about to befall me. I was so quiet, the nurses thought I had passed out. One was checking my pulse, the other was lifting my eye lids.

"Are you alright?"

I heard the voice of a mid-age woman from a distance. I motioned, "Yes" in reply, but looking in the direction of the big looking instruments hovering my head and large round lights directed towards my navel area, I thought differently.

One of the nurses, an intern I suppose, squeezed my hand and asked gently, "Do you mind an internal examination?" I looked around not knowing what to say but choose to reply with a question.
Any harm?"

"Of course not! Just an examination," she responded swiftly. I looked in the direction of the voice and could see the light-tanned face assuring me about their procedures.
No harm! raising my eyebrow, then nodded yes in return.
She pointed an instrument in my direction and added, "We just need to evaluate your lower abdomen".  I observed the instrument. It was an irritating long one. "Where could that  possibly be entering?" I thought.
They raised my two legs, one on either side and hanging them in the air.
I screamed, "OMG!"
In a few seconds, their hands were all over me, running through my abdomen on every edge like something is being sought.  I laid quietly on my back with thoughts pouring into my head like a stream. What could possibly warrant these examinations? I thought.

And then the lights moved from my navel area down to my lower abdomen. For another few minutes, they continued the search.

I thought, now what?  I could hear them whispering. They sounded confused. One of them said that can't be. The older woman said, I think it is. What could turn professionals into confused bagheads? I thought to myself for the umpteenth time.
What's the matter? I asked.

What's your age? She asked in return.

I replied, "Twenty-seven".

You can't possibly be a "V" at 27. "Are you?" She asked with a wicked looking grin. I was loosing brains for words at this point. Is there a problem? Is that a problem? Is that?
Confusingly lost in words.

She swayed left to right, dropping her instrument on one end and swinging her apron on the other. She seemed speechless and also thrown in  shock.
"I am sorry", she said. The other added, "We are sorry, this just seem different." I stood up, shocked and thrown aside by the dramatic event that just unfolded in these few minutes and stepping out of the examination room, with the word "different" got me to think.
 

What's wrong with being different?
 

This blog is not about "virginity". It implies everything that threatens you from being who God intended you to be, every tag that makes you sound different, but seemly weird from the average. They said, females are supposed to be sonorously pitched. You were told that you were too tall, too dark for a girl, or too light for an athlete. I am here to reaffirm that this is the sole reason why you are unique. Irrespective of your choices, values, colour, size, shape, age, you are uniquely designed and you can choose to be different.
Often, we want to belong to a class of people, friends, club or association. We want to be popular, be celebrated and gain some sense of freedom, we think others are enjoying. There is nothing wrong with craving to be all the best we can be but the question here is to become what? To belong to some mundane, vain, high and closed minded group where innovation is less celebrated, where your unique abilities are packed, neatly folded, stacked, packed up into a OK, average, common brainbox or where you are assumed to be everybody and tagged with another personality with the world's definition of normalcy?
Be you. Strive to be better everyday. You might not fit in and you most probably will not, if you are truly different. You might not be accepted or be told you are special but if you strive perfectly to be the best you, you will be.

The question you however need to ask yourself. Who am I? A soul-searching question you can only find in God. Why am I here? Where am I? Where am I going? What works for you and does not? Why do you want to belong to the popular code?
Be you. If there is ever anything wrong with being different, then, it is about the world, where you are forced to be just like every other. Don't forget: the very moment you start swimming with the stream is the moment you get lost in the crowd.

Oluwamitomisin
http://theladyteediary.blogspot.com/

Say a prayer for a future Husband

You must be passing out of breath at the thought of a future husband. You say, “I am only 12, barely 14”. Why husbands? You’d be expecting me to talk about grades, fashion stuff and the last topic near boys. I once did as well. I was washing my pairs of socks and school uniforms when my mum advised me to do the same. I was wondering that’s a crazy idea. I did not even understand the concept of menstruation, let alone, marriage. She asked me to pray for my husband and children at 9. It sounded absurd, but I look back and realized that the Lord has guided me along the best part of my life and according to the desires that he has planted in my heart for my partner. You need to pray now. Why? Marriage is one of the very major decisions, you will make in life, first, being that of choosing whom you will serve. God is author of marriage. Secondly, life is a passing glance. We think it’s very long but in just a few years, we are 21 or approaching 25 and there is this young man before you, you aren’t sure it’s your man. Thirdly, prayers are seeds. You sow them now and they mature at the fullness of time. Fourthly, as you grow, the intent or motives becomes easily patterned by the environment, but praying your way through helps you to keep in the right part. The bible tells us that, that there is a way that seems right but the end of it is destruction.

What are some things you can (or do) pray for your future husband? Do you do anything special like keep a journal of letters to him? What are some ways you can take you’re longing for a relationship and turn it into something productive?
Every day you spend waiting is a day you can spend praying. Regularly pray that the man God would have for me would have certain character qualities—patience, kindness, gentleness, godliness, etc…

To make this easy, I have excerpted the below from a book by Robins Jones Gunn & Tricia Goyer,” Praying for Your Future Husband”

For example, How do I pray for God to develop patience in my future husband?

- Pray he will turn to God and that God's peace will help him to be inwardly calm and willing to wait.

- Pray he will have a quiet and steady faithfulness to God.

- Pray he will be content in every state he finds himself in.

- Pray his eyes will be focused on things to come, rather than things he wished he had now.

- Pray he will not push for answers before the time is right.

- Pray he will trust God's sense of timing.

- Pray he will be reminded of all the times God has been patient with him.

- Pray he waits with hope and expectancy.

Patience is like holding a closed bud of promise in your hand. Imagine that closed, white rose in your mind. Consider allowing each petal to unfold slowly, in its own way. Can you see the beauty of each stage? Can you see God's hand wrapped around yours, watching the unfolding with you?

So, take some time (it doesn’t have to be every day) and pray for your future husband. Ask God to build traits of godliness in him and make him a strong leader. Pray that God will give him boldness—especially when it comes to pursuing you when the time is right. And also prayed for his purity and that the Lord would be drawing him into a deeper relationship with Himself. Don’t be afraid to pray for his sexual purity and protection even from pure relationships with the wrong girls. 

Of course, as you pray these things for your future husband, be sure to pray the same for yourself. 

You may be amazed at what God will do. Keep a written record of your prayers with a date next to them so that someday you can have a written testimony of what God did in your love story long before you even knew the man you would marry.


Never early to early to pray for a future husband

Church girl goes naked

Lilly left home on the cover for church rehearsals. She crossed to other side of her street, bent over the fence overlooking the back door of a house and changed her cloths. She headed for the farthest club. She just wanted to be away from the don't s. Have some fun. Meet some friends and be free, she taught.
A guy approached her while she was sitting. "Young lady", he called. Just an hour? he added. He brought out some dirty notes. He was drunk.  Lilly got up angrily, feeling insulted, she shouted on him saying, “Am not a prostitute?” The man staggered. He turned to look her clearly and said, “I owe you no apology, the last time I checked, you were dressed like one“.
Lilly is an average and the common girl looking for freedom where it does not exist.

Are you a teenage girl, they call you church girl but you feel like showing some skin. You find people complimenting you when you show some skin. They say, “You look hot, girl you look sexy”. Watch the tone you say, but inward, you like to return and get a dozen of such clothing’s.
Why do you feel so pressured as a girl to show some skin? We want to be treated elegantly, but we act otherwise. Why do I feel punished when I am told my skirt is too short or top clinging? Why do I feel boxed in the church rules of “Don’t”.  Is there anything wrong showing some skin or letting the world see the so called “endowment”? Why must Christian dress differently? Purchase magazine teaches us to dress to keep up sales. Make-up advertising agencies tell us to get one item and be young forever.
Because we want to fit in with some friends, we go all the way to do what everyone does. That voice says, “Show some skin, and if you’ve got it flaunt it? But we want to keep in faith and we find that inner voice telling us to do otherwise. Is Christianity a yoke? Where is the freedom or liberty Christians preach, you say? What do we believe in the event of modern dressing? Has the standard of Christ change? The question is “Must you dress bad, to look beautiful?”

I used to feel boxed as well until the word set me free. I found out that I could dress beautifully, attract compliments and still remain best as a good girl. The question is how?

1. Define the truths: Take a look at the mirror and see yourself in the image of God ―God’s word is our true mirror. Any compliment outside the word is only a mirage. Counter foolish wisdom that quest for perfect body with the God’s truth. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Do you know very well that every part of your body is perfect? You don’t need extra butts, breast, wider lips, and stronger lashes to be beautiful. Everything about you is perfect because God says so. Let no girlfriend or bully tell you something contrary to Gods word. They are serpents question the reality of God in your life. Accepting a mirage is telling God, His work is imperfect, that He couldn’t have been the creator. You can be a size 4, 6, 8, 10, 14, as long as you keep healthy; you are perfectly in God’s shape.
2. Separate truth from fact.  The girlish syndrome wants to look good and crave for compliment. We love hot looking shoes, even though, half the time, our ankle aches. There is that part in every woman that pants after the girlish syndrome but the bible encourages us to be “self-controlled and to be led by the Spirit”. The truth only lies in your choice. We do have a choice in our fashion statement. You could give yourself the look of business tycoon, a slot, a village headmistress, a skunk. The last choice lies in our mind. Proverbs 22: 5b tells us a virtuous woman is clothed in fine linen and purple “royalty”. Proverbs 22: 25a says she is clothed with strength and dignity. Prov. 7:10 describes a strange woman, “Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.” There is a dressing for prostitute, don’t cut in fashion. Everything comes with a history. For example, wearing chain on the ankle was a sign to differentiate prostitute but this have perpetrated modern dressing. Wearing earrings for men started in the slave trade to differentiate slaves who have been freed and those who weren’t. So is sagging of trousers, and many more. Your faith comes with responsibility and it’s ours to reflect God in our nature. Faith colours our clothing choices. So choose.
3. Secondly, the nature of self ―we like to do everything against the norm; that human nature that is in enmity against God”. Gen 3:6 “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” As ladies, we know to dress is good, we also know that it is the gateway to receiving compliment. But any form of dresses that makes one naked and in disobedience against God is only leading us down the part of destruction. I have heard young girls raped for reason not quantifiable and justifiable but pertaining to dressing. Gen3:7, “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”  Roms 8:13, “ For if you live after the flesh [the sinful nature], you will die; but if through the Spirit you mortify [put to death] the deeds of the body, you will live”. Col 3:5, “Therefore mortify [put to death] the deeds of the body which are of the earthly life; fornication, impurity, inordinate affections, evil lusts of the flesh, and covetousness, which is idolatry”. Eph 4:22, “Strip yourselves of your former nature that controlled your conduct, which corrupts itself through lusts and desires that spring from delusion.”  Roms 8:13, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. “ To be led by the Spirit of God is to hear and obey his word from within your heart prompting you with thoughts, words, and deeds.
4. Learn about your body type: Shari Braendel in her book “Good girls don’t have to dress bad” teaches about four body types and how to enhance dressing with our body type. Recommended for both the clueless and the fashion-savvy.
• Figuring out your body type
• How the right hair color will bring out your best natural features
• How your clothes can go far with gorgeous accessories
• Investing in correct underwear
• Minimizing the pains of swimsuit shopping
• Basic makeup application
• Searching for that flattering pair of jeans
Author Shari Braendel deals with deeper issues that women typically associate with beauty.
• Some of us believe that there is one body type that is considered more attractive than the others
• Some of us feel like they have to spend so much on clothing that we give up looking nice altogether
• Some of us associate modesty with boring and outdated
• Some of us have a hard time grasping the idea of being "fearfully and wonderfully made"
• Some of us just have no clue how deal with all this looking good stuff
• Some of us feel defeated as we compare ourselves to other women

Welcome

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